message left on my desktop

Baby bear~

I love you so much!

If I could see you now, I'd give you thousands of kisses. One kiss for every second you're in class right now. If your prof would allow me, I would even walk into your class now and present a lecture about how much you mean to me. I'd even have it uploaded live to the whole world so everyone would know I love you!!!

You mean so much to me. You're right about how I can't imagine life without you. I just can't think of it. I have to tell myself, You are there, You are there, You are Here!!! Because life without you would suck! I like telling stuff about me before I met you because when I do, I feel like you were there to experience it with me.

I want my whole life to revolve around you. You're always here when I need you. I love how I have you to hold on to. I love how I have you to share memories with. I love how your smile makes me smile. I'm happy and its all thanks to you. I love you~

Love,
Pumpkin

PS: If I was the rain, I'd be happy just to land on your umbrella. I was miles away up in the clouds, but I was lucky that the journey down lead me so close to you.

You're a very exciting person. You always seem to have positive energy. You go get things down when you need to, and when you have time to relax you're all about high fives and laughter. You're very confident in yourself and you have a great love of life that's contagious. At the same time, you're a very relaxed person, never seeming too worried, whether you are or not, and it's probably because you're so sure of yourself. And your concern with connection to other people is a benefit to all you care about because you like to give something meaningful occasionally for no reason other than to give. You've certainly inspired me to do the same on multiple occasions.

I'm posting compliments to people I care about today. Perhaps those you care about would love it if you did, too.

-MK

babies

when or kids grow up, they wont throw cups at you, they'll be giving you a cup that says # 1 mommy
and they give me a # 1 whipped dad with marshmallow cocoa with whipped cream to say I'm too soft when it comes to my babies

my hands miss squeezing you on the soft sides i like so much

He doesn't know he has poetry on his tongue

Nope it's you smiling at me.
It's the Jackie with the cute laugh.
The Jackie who always feel relaxed when I trace my fingers on her so I keep doing it.
The Jackie who always makes me feel happy just cuz she's there with me.
<3
I can't wait for the Jackie who will be my beautiful wife and mommy in the future~

quiet mornings

I really enjoy waking up early. i think i'm getting used to 7:30/8am wake ups. and now i really enjoy walking to class, 1/2 hour early. i have that time to walk slowly. to think. to get lost in the music. to see the sun. to twirl around if i wanted to. i like being about to just take my time. to not rush, since the rest of everything i do is rushed and impulse. i like that slowness.

"<3
sometimes I wanna keep typing <3
like maybe I could type so many of them that it'd form a chain for me to use to reach you"

"and you always hit me where i need love most, everywhere!"

The world is warm

_{"you make me so happy you make my dimple show and i only have one lonely dimple but you make all of me better"}

The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon...
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.

It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.

By Oriah © Mountain Dreaming,
from the book The Invitation
published by HarperONE, San Francisco,
1999 All rights reserved

"can't wait to see the shimmer in your eyes, the way the dress forms your body, and the inviting smile you'll put for me"
"-------{@ wapow! Tuxedo Mask! XD"

My chi.

On sunday I went back home to join my mother and father in some tai chi. I was a bit nervous, but as soon as we started moving, i felt at home. i was focused, tuned in to my body. Everything was about shifting my weight, connecting my mind to my body.

I hope that tai chi will be life changing. Turn my mind and body as one. I hope this will help me along in keeping stressless, and keeping my on my life's path.

As we were returning, my dad was discussing my major, since the lady at the tai chi also went to Towson. He tells me that whenever I say my major is psychology they always say that I must be really interested in the subject, when they all know this is a hard major to get a job from. What options are there?
I mention how mk is doing research. i believe he mistakened it for reading research as oppose to experimenting. because he comments on how that is not fitting for me. That i cannot stay seated and research. That i need to be up and moving.
And you know, i think he is right. I am impatient. I do not settle down on things, i work through them and keep going. It is my nature to move, to change, to go. I cannot sit still.
i believe those that work hard that "dirty their hands" are those wothwhile. I want to be worthwhile. I want to make my worth, i want to build respect through the things that i do, that i contribute. I want to live a meaningful life where i have taken action not sat idle.

E.E. Cummings

i like my body when it is with your
body. It is so quite a new thing.
Muscles better and nerves more.
i like your body. i like what it does,
i like its hows. i like to feel the spine
of your body and its bones, and the trembling
-firm-smooth ness and which i will
again and again and again
kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,
i like,, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz
of your electric fur, and what-is-it comes
over parting flesh....And eyes big love-crumbs,

and possibly i like the thrill

of under me you quite so new